we have pet lesbian snakes
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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