weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
