There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize