bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
