I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize