I could have mohawked her pubes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize