its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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