The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
