who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I heard we made out
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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