i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
