Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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