Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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