If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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