you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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