I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
