I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
