It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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