brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
