Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
