sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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