This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you had me at cake vodka
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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