I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Terrible idea I love it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize