She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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