Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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