is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
