I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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