oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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