Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
