So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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