too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
