so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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