You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
