Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
