what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
