I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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