I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
