Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
