apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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