I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
