he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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