you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
