Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
