It was confusing and full of hummus
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
