Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
