The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
