just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
