Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize