all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
