hotel room ftw
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
