Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
