i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
