so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
