I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
