why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
