OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
