No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
