We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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