hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
