Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
