I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
