I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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