I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
